Thursday, August 2, 2007


Upon the Wedding of Little Sis

Dear Mendy,

It’s finally here. The weekend we’ve been planning for months. The weekend you’ve been dreaming of your whole life. You found each other. You’ve plotted and planned and delegated and … delegated again, and it’s upon us. This weekend, you become Mrs. Derek Goebel. Not just my little sister. Not just the Baby of the Moss Family. But someone’s wife.

Pardon me if it takes me a while to get used to the idea. During the past 23 years, I’ve been The Big Sister, a role I’ve taken very seriously. Fierce Protector. Counselor. Guide. Second Mother. Sister … with all the good and bad that the job entails.

And as my final act as Self-Appointed Primary Protector of Mendy, I pass along the lessons that I have learned over the past three years: My Marriage Advice.

This list is a compilation of Lessons Learned By Rita The Hard Way and also the wise advice of some respected persons. I hope this helps you.

I also kept this list of stuff from a sermon that Pastor Hal preached in May 2005. At that point, I hadn't been married yet a year, but it already meant a lot to hear at that point. I remember that the Sunday this sermon was preached, we had a group of single friends visiting from out of town. After church, they were all, "Duh! Those are so easy!" and Kyle and I just looked at each other and knew we had appreciated the reminder.

I hope it will mean as much to you as it has to me.

20 Principles and Practices
That Will Build A Stronger Marriage:

  1. Grow Spiritually
  2. Love Completely
  3. Work Continuously
  4. Play Often
  5. Share Equally
  6. Serve Cheerfully
  7. Give Selflessly
  8. Laugh Heartily
  9. Talk Honestly
  10. Praise Frequently
  11. Criticize Gently
  12. Spend Wisely
  13. Protect Fiercely
  14. Parent Jointly
  15. Celebrate Happily
  16. Forgive Easily
  17. Believe Stubbornly
  18. Pray Daily
  19. Sacrifice Gratefully and
  20. Grow Old Joyfully
Spend the rest of your life being a student of your husband. Learn his interests and encourage him. Learn his love language and become fluent. Learn his communication style and speak it.

Spend the rest of your life making it what you always dreamed. You hold the keys.

And know that I will always love you. And I will always be here for you.

Your Big Sister

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